“If You Wanna Be My Lover” – Curve (January/February 2007)
Take it from the Spice Girls, your new sweetie’s got to get in with your friends. We in the lesbian community tend to want women we are attracted to as friends, and our friendships can easily go over the line, blurring the distinction between friend and love.
“A Painful Discovery” – Newsweek (May 18, 1998)
Since 59% of the women I interviewed for the book had no idea of their same-gender identification before they were married, I knew this topic would be an important one for everyone. Newsweek concurred and published my related essay “A Painful Discovery” (the title they chose) on their “My Turn” page (May 18, 1998). There were a few irate responses such as “How dare you deal with your own needs and happiness?” and “If you discover too late that you’ve made a mistake and should not have married a certain man or woman, you should keep your mouth shut and swallow it. Take it to the grave!” But more often, responses were in favor of bringing this frightening topic to light. “I now view the lesbian lifestyle with softer eyes,” one reader wrote.
In addition to the mostly wonderful e-mails and letters I received in response to my Newsweek essay, “A Painful Discovery”, two weeks later, in the June 8th issue of Newsweek, there were several responses to the magazine itself. According to Newsweek‘s Mail Call, while many letters drew “ire”, some applauded my courage and honesty. One person was quoted as writing that my essay “should help foster understanding of the complexity of human relationships and sexuality.” I could not have expressed myself better. Another lovely response: here
The December 21st issue of Newsweek, talking about readers who were moved to write, again mentioned my essay, saying that “Carren Strock’s May 18 My Turn on her mid-life discovery of her homosexuality encouraged… people with similar stories to express their gratitude at finding they weren’t alone.”